Projo Offbeat Blog

Journal photo/ Glenn Osmundson Santa appearing recently in Wickford.

Now we know who's to blame for America's weight problem. It's Santa Claus.

That's right. Acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson has told the Boston Herald that Santa should slim down because he's setting a bad example.

“It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise. It is absolutely critical,” Galson told the Herald.

The logic apparently goes like this: Two-thirds of America's adults and one-third of the country's children are overweight. Many of us grew up admiring, even loving, the chubby fella. Our admiration of Santa has apparently turned into emulation, and now many of us couldn't dream of climbing down a chimney or fitting into those red leisure suits we bought back when they were allegedly in style.

Great. It's not our fault, after all.

Who knew Santa had been spending all his time in the North Pole plotting against us? No wonder he always seems so jolly. Ho. Ho. Ho. The joke is on us. I guess there's no such thing as a free Christmas gift.

To fight back, one health official suggested that children leave celery sticks and carrots for Santa.

But I'm siding with Santa. I think he's getting a bad rap. I'm telling my kids to leave a whole bunch of Nana's cookies for St. Nick, not carrots or celery sticks. Otherwise, I can almost guarantee they'll upset the big guy and get coal in their stockings.

Comments

Beth Heaney said:

I don't know about you all, but I never really associated being jolly with the food-deprived look of a long-distance runner.

I heard it put well last week when someone said, "When I see a thin Santa, I feel ripped off. Like the store couldn't afford a good Santa."

And as for the carrot sticks, I'm a cookie eater myself. I have never heard any "mmm's" from a person crunching a carrot stick. Foods shouldn't be chosen for how happy they make you as a rule, but sometimes they should. Happiness is big in my life.

Link | December 4, 2007 8:16 AM
Report Abuse

---

Leave a comment

Name:

Email:

URL:  

Remember personal info?

Captcha:

Type the characters you see in the picture above.