Projo Offbeat Blog

It's a week before Thanksgiving, and I'm already sick of Christmas.

Christmas has become the bully of all holidays, with the burly Santa and his sleigh bumping up against Halloween and running over Thanksgiving.

Driving to work earlier this week, I heard the Village People singing "Disco Santa Claus" on a radio station that's already committed to playing Christmas music around the clock. The song sounded a lot like the Village People's famous "Y.M.C.A." song, only it was even more irritating.

After enduring that pain, I passed homes and businesses already decorated for Christmas.

And it's been this way for weeks. Buying Halloween candy this year, I noticed that the orange and black candy wrappers were already competing for shelf space with the candy canes.

And I'm sure somebody, somewhere put Santa Claus on a July 4th parade float.

How can we miss this guy if he never leaves?

Why the hurry? Are these store owners and radio station owners afraid Christmas will take us by surprise? Do they think some of us will wake up on the morning of Dec. 25th and treat it like it's any other day?

"Honey, I had the strangest ride to work," we'll tell our spouses. "There was nobody on the road except for this big guy in a red suit. It looked like he was driving a sleigh with a pilgrim stuck to his bumper."

Christmas is a wonderful time of year and, I suspect, we'd all know it's coming, even without the advance warning.

We have laws that cover everything imaginable, and now we need a law punishing anyone who starts peddling Christmas before Thanksgiving.

The punishment I'd propose: Playing Santa Claus in a mall in July while the Village People's "Disco Santa Claus" plays nonstop.

---