Projo Offbeat Blog

The Associated Press reports that a woman in South Korea has passed the written exam for her driver's license after 950 tries.

Cha Sa-soon, 68, succeeded after taking the test almost every day since April 2005.

Good for her, but would you want to catch a ride with her?

Or even drive on the same road?

In an apparently unrelated story, a driver in Oklahoma sideswiped an 8-foot, 4,500-pound elephant that had escaped from a circus.

Cha Sa-soon was not driving.

AP Photo
This screen grab released by ABC and "America's Funniest Home Videos", shows a dog in a tree from "America's Funniest Home Videos."

A exhaustive 19-year study has proven what most sensible animal lovers already knew: Dogs are the funniest animals of all.

But the study did turn up some surprising findings. It claims that cats are the second funniest. It also suggests that monkeys are overrated in the humor department.

The "study" bases its conclusions on prize winners from "America's Funniest Home Videos."

The story explains, "Dogs are a clear winner as the funniest animal - especially wiener dogs, Chihuahuas and pugs - judging by payouts from the series, which begins its 20th year on ABC next month.

"In the show's first 19 years, 260 animal videos have won $2.2 million for their videographers. More than half those winners (136) have been dogs for $1.4 million in prize money. There have been 34 cat champs making $210,000," the AP reports.

Dogs. Of course. But cats? Anything that takes itself as seriously as a cat clearly has no sense of humor. Cats aren't funny at all. In fact, I'm sure cats would be offended if they realized that anyone found them funny -- and then they'd show even more attitude and even less humor, if that were possible.

Nearly as surprising is the poor showing by monkeys. Monkeys ranked well behind cats. They also fell behind squirrels and birds. (Okay, talking birds can be funny, but how many times can they repeat that joke?)

Monkeys have starred in movies, television shows, kids books. Who doesn't laugh at "Curious George?" And yet viewers of this popular TV show ranked their videos right down their with clips starring such side splitters as goats, mice and whales.

Card makers think monkeys are funny too. Whenever I go to the store to look for a birthday card, there's no shortage of birthday cards showing monkeys doing funny things like wearing diapers, drinking beer or riding a bike. I usually fall for one of them and send it off figuring it will bring a chuckle to a friend or a family member.

I notice that I don't receive as many birthday cards as I used to. Now maybe I know why.

A comfortable recliner is great, but what guy wouldn't want a recliner he could drive to the local bar? I wonder if the man in this story has met the Ohio man who was charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.

The chair

DULUTH, Minn. (AP) -- A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers.

The driver

Prosecutors say Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit, when he crashed into a parked vehicle in August 2008. He was not seriously injured.

Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders. (This guy had to have been the envy of all the other guys in the neighborhood.)

Sixth Judicial District Judge Heather Sweetland stayed 180 days of jail time Monday and ordered two years of probation for Anderson. His attorney, David Keegan, did not immediately return a call for comment.

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Information from: Duluth News Tribune, http://www.duluthsuperior.com

Sure, most of us have probably wanted to backhand a karaoke singer at some point in our lives, but judging from this story, I'm thinking these women took it just a little too far:

STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) -- Police say a woman singing karaoke in a Connecticut sports bar was attacked by six other women who didn't like her performance.

Five of the women were arraigned on assault and other charges on Wednesday in Stamford Superior Court. The other woman appeared in court Monday on the same charges.

Police say the Sept. 23 attack on the 25-year-old woman from Port Chester, N.Y., happened during karaoke night at Bobby Valentine's Sports Gallery Cafe in Stamford.

Authorities say the six women, all under the legal drinking age of 21, knocked the singer to the floor, punched her and pulled her hair. The victim suffered bruises and a chipped tooth.

The victim has said she was singing "A Dios Le Pido" by Colombian superstar Juanes when the violence began.

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Information from: The Advocate, http://www.stamfordadvocate.com

The Top 10 signs (from relatively recent news stories) your marriage might hit a few bumps.

• 10 You star in a reality television show like Jon and Kate, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, the Hogans...


• 9 You marry a reality TV "star" just weeks after meeting her.


• 8 You're Chris Evert's third husband.


• 7 Your wife finds out you really weren't hiking.


• 6 You come from Nevada, where a lot of those those quickie weddings are apparently followed by quick divorces.


• 5 You picked up your future wife's $3,000 bar tab on the day you met.


• 4 Your wife fires a gun at you after discovering that you bought a more expensive Christmas gift for your alleged mistress.


• 3 Your once-loyal friend proposes a book revealing that you promised your alleged mistress that you'll marry her after your wife dies of cancer.
• 2 You come from Oklahoma, the state where you're most likely to run into somebody who has been married three or more times.



• 1 Two words: secret bedroom

A new study reveals that parents often lie to their children.

I thought I'd share the information, even though I realize it's news only to people who've never been parents, and anyone over the age of 12 who's never had a parent.

The story is carried on the Web site livescience.com under the headline "Parents Lie to Children Surprisingly Often."

Apparently the headline writer isn't a parent.

The story quotes study researcher Kang Lee of the University of Toronto saying, "We are surprised by how often parenting by lying takes place. Our findings showed that even the parents who most strongly promoted the importance of honesty with their children engaged in parenting by lying."

Apparently Kang Lee isn't a parent either.

The story reports, "From claiming the existence of magical creatures to odd consequences of kids' actions, parents often come up with creative tales to shape a child's behaviors and emotions.

"Many parents reported telling their children that bad things would happen if they didn't go to bed or eat certain foods," the story continues. "One mother recalled telling her child that if he didn't finish his food he would get pimples all over his face."

I'm sure that most people go into parenting with good honest intentions, but then they realize that you can't reason with a 4-year-old mid-tantrum. Telling a kid there's a monster in the woods might keep him from wandering away. (Okay, scary stories are also kind of fun.) And when they get older, you realize that it doesn't do anyone any good to detail all the dumb things we did when we were young.

According to the story, more than 70 percent of the parents surveyed said they teach their children that lying is unacceptable. Even so, nearly 80 percent of parents admitted lying to their kids.

I'm guessing the other 20 percent lied to the researchers.

Do you ever feel like a visit to the doctor's office or dentist's office is like a visit to a drive-thru window?

"Let's check your heart. Here's a prescription. See you next year. Gotta keep the line moving."

If you've gotten that drive-thru or assembly-line feeling during a visit to a health-care provider, then you might not be surprised to learn that some hospitals are experimenting with the kind of drive-thru experience, according to an Associated Press report.

"Call it McTriage," the story says.

Hospitals are testing these systems so they can handle an overwhelming demand for services, such as a swine flu outbreak, the story reports.

At Stanford University in Palo Alto, Calif., doctors recently tested a drive-thru system for flu patients in a parking ramp, the story reports.

Through the car window, a doctor can measure blood pressure, pulse and breathing rates. Blood tests can also be done.

The drive-thru shaved 80 minutes off the typical two-hour wait in the regular emergency room.

That's comforting news. It might also be comforting to know that if the doctor probes a little too much, you can step on the gas and go.