Projo Offbeat Blog

AP Photo/Suffolk County Sheriff

It just doesn't seem fair that a sheriff in New York would pull over and fine a driver for traveling with a mannequin.

What does the sheriff's office on Long Island have against mannequins or the people who hang out with them?

I'm sure a lot of people who drive the Long Island Expressway have long commutes. It gets lonely driving all by yourself. Maybe the driver just wanted a little company, somebody to talk to.

Sure, mannequins aren't all that talkative, but isn't that the best kind of conversationalist, somebody -- or something -- who'll just listen? Why do you think dogs are so popular?

I know this driver is accused of trying to beat the system by using the mannequin to qualify as the second person, her "plus one," in the high-occupancy vehicle lane, but I think a good lawyer could punch a hole in the deputy sheriff's probable cause for stopping the vehicle.

The sheriff's suspicions were reportedly raised because the car's "passenger" was wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day. But plenty of "real people" wear sunglasses on cloudy days. Will the deputy sheriff start pulling over every wannabe movie star, athlete and rock star who wears sunglasses on cloudy days?

And maybe you're thinking that nobody was preventing this woman from taking a drive with her mannequin. She just couldn't drive in the high-occupancy lane. I know the idea with these high-occupancy lanes is to encourage carpooling and let those hard-working commuters get to the office faster.

But maybe this driver was a Good Samaritan rushing to get the mannequin to work. Mannequins are some of the hardest workers I've ever seen. Haven't we all seen mannequins that work 24 hours a day, day after day, in store windows?

The Associated Press story on this sad tale noted that the deputy sheriff found the mannequin, fully dressed with a long dark wig, blazer, shirt and scarf.

It was dressed for work, no doubt.

Happy belated birthday, beer can.

Canned beer celebrated its 75th birthday this week, on Jan. 24 to be exact, and it's information like this that helps us realize just how difficult life must have been for those pioneers who lived in the early part of the 20th century.

A story on the always-interesting Web site livescience.com informs us of the beer can's big day and urges us to crack a cold one and celebrate.

The story is also full of interesting stuff on the history of beer. Beer is as old as civilization itself, the Web site reports, noting that "the accidental fermentation of wheat or barley, which produces a rudimentary beer - almost certainly occurred soon after the advent of crop agriculture."

The writer then wonders who could have been the first brave soul "to volunteer to drink a murky pool of wheat water?"

I'm guessing it was a college student or a football fan.

The story also explains beer's role in the Pilgrims missing their new world target of Virginia and instead settling in Plymouth.

No, it's not because the Pilgrims were too drunk to hit the right spot, but once they landed in Massachusetts and realized their mistake, they decided they had to stay where they were because they were low on crucial supplies such as beer.

Apparently beer was as important to the diets of men like William Bradford and Myles Standish as it is to Homer Simpson's.

AP photo
Don't look now, but this look, modeled during Fashion Week last week in Berlin, could be the hot new look this spring. Maybe it's not such a bad idea if we have another warm (sort of) wet spring and summer.

"Markus the Prostidude"/AP Photo/OC Modeling

We've all seen the depressing headlines, but if you really want to know how bad the economy is, just ask "Markus," the country's one and only legal gigolo.

He started his job last week at Nevada's Shady Lady Ranch but apparently hasn't been able to find any work. Despite lots of publicity and rock-hard abs, the muscular Markus has apparently kept his feet up and his shirt on all week. (Maybe he's spending his time wisely and reading his employer's training manuals.)

On the bright side, he does have a couple of "appointments" scheduled for this weekend, according to a story by the Associated Press.

Markus and his boss's are breaking new ground (just like Rosa Parks, Markus says) and their effort has been met with some cynicism and controversy.

After the Shady Lady's operators won state and county approval, they sifted through hundreds of applicants. (And just what do your put on your resume if you're applying for work as a gigolo? What do you wear, or what don't you wear to your interview?)

They hired Markus, an ex-Marine and college dropout who landed in Nevada after trying work as a porn actor in LA.

Some are calling Markus the "prostidude."

Jim Davis, co-owner of the Shady Lady, told the Associated Press that the Shady Lady had received dozens of e-mails expressing interest in the gigolo. He said it took years to establish steady business from truckers, salesmen and other travelers after the brothel opened 17 years ago, and getting paying women customers could take at least a month.

So it might be a while before we know if being a prostitude is a new career path for Markus or anyone else.

It's finally safe to go back in the water off Cape Cod.

Like so many Massachusetts and Rhode Island retirees, a great white shark spotted and tagged by harpoon off Chatham four months ago has apparently gone south for the winter.

Who says sharks have small brains?

According to marine biologists, the electronic tagged popped off the shark off Florida and began transmitting data by satellite.

The data will provide scientists with all sorts of information on the mysterious great white shark.

"We're looking forward to sharing the findings," said Ian Bowles, secretary of energy and environmental affairs in Massachusetts. "So far, all we know is that this particular shark is a snowbird."

Yes, I think we already know plenty. This great white shark is living an American dream -- Chatham in the summer, Florida in the winter.

But I wonder if the data can tell us if this snowshark is collecting a Massachusetts or Rhode Island pension.

I'm not sure if he could hit Randy Moss on a post pattern, but I'm thinking that actor Michael C. Hall could play Tom Brady in "The Tom Brady Movie," unless, of course, Brady wanted to keep the starring role for himself.

Hall plays a serial killer in Showtime's "Dexter," so he'd probably be good at killing the clock, and he'd likely have the killer instinct that the Patriots clearly lacked in the second half of games this season.

Now who could we get to play Giselle?

Forbes.com rates Rhode Island drivers as the safest in the country.

Drivers in Massachusetts rank fourth.

I can only wonder if anyone from Forbes.com has ever driven or tried crossing a street in Rhode Island or Massachusetts.

If they have -- and they still believe that Rhode Island and Massachusetts drivers are among the country's safest -- it might be time for a lot of us to abandon the roads and move to a cabin in the woods.